Oh, I Never Knew You Were a Vegetarian!

I hear this every now and then — people are often shocked when they find out I’m a vegetarian. Some even take it a step further. Rolling their eyes, they ask, “How can you be a vegetarian?” What follows is another set of curious questions:

• Arabind, are you on some kind of diet?
• Do you eat eggs?
• Are you the only vegetarian in your family?
• Seeing you, I wouldn’t have guessed you’re a vegetarian! (What does that even mean? 🤦‍♂️)

These are the common questions I hear almost every day!

In a place where nearly 90% of people eat egg, fish or meat as part of their daily diet, being a vegetarian seems almost unbelievable. Once the initial shock fades, the next inevitable question comes: “How did you become a vegetarian?”

Then comes the follow-up: “Were you born a vegetarian, or is it by choice?”

I usually respond with, “My dear friend, it’s a long story.” That’s when most people lose interest and move on. But a few persistent ones stick around, determined to find out why I made this choice.

A Bangalore Experience That Taught Me a Lesson

In the late ’90s, I went to Bangalore to meet my friends. I was the first among them to land a job, and my idea of a vacation was to visit Bangalore. During my stay in RT Nagar, I met two brothers from Kannur who ran a grocery shop nearby. Over time, we became friends, and the day before I was set to return, they invited me over for dinner.

That night, as we approached their home, I could smell the unmistakable aroma of biryani. They had prepared a feast — Mutton Biryani with date pickle. They asked us to sit, and at that moment, I knew I was in trouble. They had made an elaborate non-vegetarian spread, never realising that their new friend from Central Travancore was a vegetarian.

It was awkward. They felt bad, and I felt worse. They urged me to at least eat the rice after removing the mutton, but I politely declined. I just drank warm water, and they were visibly embarrassed. After that night, I made it a point to always inform my hosts in advance about my food preferences before any lunch or dinner invitation.

But many years later, I came across another embarrassing incident.

A similar situation happened with one of my clients. After the successful completion of a project, they decided to host me and offered a dinner. We arrived on time, shared some laughs, and finally sat down to eat. The table was filled with every possible dish they could prepare — but to my surprise, there was nothing vegetarian except plain boiled rice and pickles.

I quietly started eating, but my hosts kept insisting that I try the fish and meat. To clear the air, I finally said, “I’m a vegetarian.”

They were shocked, as expected. I continued eating my plain rice with pickle and curd while my office colleagues enjoyed the feast. Even when we were leaving, my client still had a disappointed look on his face.

The Struggles of Being a Vegetarian

One of the biggest challenges of being a vegetarian is finding vegetarian food, especially at social gatherings like weddings. While Hindu weddings usually serve a traditional Sadya, at other community events, vegetarian options are often limited. More often than not, the only vegetarian dish available is a sad, emotionless Gobi Manchurian. Many times, they do keep it separately for vegetarians, but our non-veg friends finish it before we even get there!

Traveling abroad is another nightmare. In many countries, finding vegetarian food is difficult, and the concept of vegetarianism itself varies. There were times when I had to survive on just fruits, and whenever I found an Indian restaurant, I would eat like someone who hadn’t seen food in days.

The Moment That Changed Everything

So, how did I become a vegetarian?

One evening in the early ’90s, I was listening to an Osho speech on a cassette in my Walkman. Yes, those were the pre-internet days when I would often listen to speeches. This particular talk was about food and, more specifically, vegetarianism. By the time the tape ended, I had made one of the most significant decisions of my life.

And just like that, I became a vegetarian.

It’s been more than three decades now, and I have never once regretted my decision. Nor do I consider it a big deal. I’m perfectly comfortable sitting at a table with friends enjoying their non-vegetarian meals while I have mine.

I strongly believe that food is a personal choice and should always be respected. My elder daughter has chosen to be a vegetarian, while my younger one eats whatever she likes and follows a non-vegetarian diet. Yet, we are still a perfect family.